J Wynde’s Peace J

Well, it’s November 28^th [1999] and I did get the medicine but it isn’t working quite as well as hoped. I pray that as time goes on it gets better.

            I know now that even if I die today I won’t feel that I didn’t accomplish anything. I have a peace with myself that I have never had before. I don’t feel as though I missed out on anything. I was saved in 3^rd grade, I have wonderful parents, family, & friends who have always been here for me. I graduated high school and am in college. I sing in choir & play bells. I have seen my 4 nephews and 1 niece be born and grow up. I feel that even though I never made any great, huge change in the world I have had a wonderful life. I know one day that everything will work out and I am not blindly optimistic, contrary to popular belief. I love my life. I am extremely glad this happened to me and no one else. I know that between me & God we can handle this and no matter what happens it is his will. I am not scared of dying. I know that when I do, I will be in a better place where I will be able to do everything I have ever wanted to do. I love my life and want to live every minute to its fullest, whether that is sitting in my class at school or singing or playing bells I believe that I can do it to the best of my ability. I thank God for showing me this and I pray that I do live this way forever!

It’s June 24^th [2000] and this medicine is awesome! I have been able to do so much & my oxygen saturation is up to 96 w/o oxygen. I am so excited! I have met a bunch of new people on the PH internet sites& I feel so sorry for them. I am grateful that things have gone so well for me. I know that God has me here for some kind of purpose even if I don’t know what it is yet. I know that if & when I die it will only be after I serve that purpose for Him. I think back now to all of the things that just seemed to fall into place over the years & I can see God working in each of the situations. All the way back before I was even diagnosed I see Him working. I think that I have gone through all of this & become a stronger person because of it. I wish I could take away the pain that everyone else is feeling & that they would feel as good as I do. I love all of my family and friends & know that they have always loved me too. Even through the hard times they were there for me. I pray that I have touched one person’s life over the years & that I didn’t live my life in vain. God has given me such wonderful gifts over the years & I hope that I didn’t waste them. I believe that one day there will be a cure for this disease & I hope that I am around to receive it, but even if I am not I know that I was a stubborn person & this disease did not beat me. I was always determined to keep a smile on my face and a song in my heart. The only way I did this was because of God in my heart. I am glad I was blest w/ trials and tribulations of many kinds. I would not trade my life with anyone else in the world. I have met some wonderful people on the Message Board & I believe things will get better for them. They just need a little encouragement. I am glad God knew that I could handle this with His help. I have not been scared about my disease in a long time. He has given me a peace and I will carry that with me forever. God has helped me through everything in my life & I know that He will always be around for me.

Copied exactly from Wynde’s Journal, November 2001

God thought Wynde was needed in heaven and He called her home on November 10, 2001.